An open letter to OKcupid. 

I got this email:

It left me feeling unsettled and I wasn’t sure why. So I posted it to my friends on Facebook with this text:

“I’m a little unsure what I think about this…. I mean, cheers for the ego boost, always nice.
But the thought that until now you were showing me men that were deemed less attractive??? And what, now I’m ‘worthy’ of more attractive matches?
Surely I should be the only judge of what I’m finding attractive, not your algorithms?!
Just show me everyone within the filters I’ve set and let me be the judge of them (and them of me), is that not how this is meant to work?”

And my friends responded.

Basically, WTF OKCupid??

However you read this email, it’s not okay.

A couple of friends said they’d got the same email so we all presume this is nothing more than generic marketing spam.
This is not okay – do you think all of us that use your site are so insecure or hung up on our appearance that the thought of “levelling up our attractiveness stat” will get us to go back and use you more?
(Another friend said they hadn’t got this email… and did that mean something was wrong with them?!)

I read this email as saying “we are now showing you more attractive people because you are deemed more attractive than you were originally. Congratulations on reaching the level of the beautiful people.” – Many of my friends agreed with me that this was how the wording read, or how it could be read.
This is not okay – This is poorly worded at best, intentional at worst.
Who are you to decide who I should see? Heck, who are you to decide who is attractive? And how the heck do you know what attracts me?! How dare you hold back their profiles until mine has been visited a certain number of times. None of this is remotely okay.

It was also suggested however that this might be grammatical subtlety – Do they mean ‘MORE attractive people’ or ‘More ATTRACTIVE people’?
So, my friend posited, are you seeing a greater amount of profiles or the same amount but of more attractive ones?
Either way, this is not okay…. the suggestion that I’ve passed some kind of probation period is icky in the extreme! To hold back either a number of profiles or those considered more attractive is not how this should work and I’m not sure I want to be part of a site that does so.

Many friends commented this was “seedy”, “creepy”, that it was “negging” their customer base, “operational bullshit”, “full ‘Black Mirror’ nosedive”, “awful” and “bloody ugh” – just to quote a few of my wonderful people.

One advised me to “just accept that you are gorgeous” – which is somewhat missing the sodding point here.

I’ve have noticed no discernible change in either the number of profiles I’ve seen or (in my eyes) the attractiveness level of them. Nor have I noticed a difference in the number of people who “like” my profile or send me messages. So I’m back to assuming this is generic spam that is playing on the insecurities of it’s users.

And that is not okay…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: